I Hate Myself

When I am in this kind of situation, i really don't know what to do. I am lost, totally. I hate myself. I hate that I am being like that. Why do I put that in such an important place in my heart? Why do I care? The answer is so obvious. Everybody know, i can't lie, but he don't know. I hate this kind of feeling. I hate to see what happen right now. Mad is the only feeling. But, what can i do? Give up? Maybe that is a better way. Easy come easy go, can I? I am doubtful. Why the feeling can be so different in a same day and same place? Waiting and searching, but still, I don't get it. I hate myself!!!