I Hate Myself

When I am in this kind of situation, i really don't know what to do. I am lost, totally. I hate myself. I hate that I am being like that. Why do I put that in such an important place in my heart? Why do I care? The answer is so obvious. Everybody know, i can't lie, but he don't know. I hate this kind of feeling. I hate to see what happen right now. Mad is the only feeling. But, what can i do? Give up? Maybe that is a better way. Easy come easy go, can I? I am doubtful. Why the feeling can be so different in a same day and same place? Waiting and searching, but still, I don't get it. I hate myself!!!

Carmen's Journey

After sometime, i realize my blog named Carmen's Journey. I should talk about what i met along my journey of life, but not hoow and why i keep on staying at the same point. My future will never be an asymptote. I will get through it someday. And the answer that i am searching these days will review by itself.

Eight more days to go. And i will be back to a place that i should start a different life. New home and new stage of life-degree in Mechatronics And Robotics. How will it affect my future? Insist, i should think of how to make it lead me to a better future. A great job, high salary? Whatever. What i wish now is that how i get to find someone who can accompany me in my whole life. That is not a dream, but will come true someday. Every girl seek for that. And that is important to complete my life. May be now is not the time, but i look forward for that. As i am a Pisces, that's really important for me. Really really...

Hide And Seek

For the people who know me, and close to me. They know that i hate to play hide and seek. It is too childish for me. I got no passion on that. I like to state every thing clearly. Doubtful, not my favorite. Straight to the point is my style. Guessing and wondering, i hate that. So please be honour to me. Or else i will just pretend i don't get what you mean and ignore your tips. Continue to live my life as usual. No hide and seek. You can hide yourself forever, and i wouldn't seek for you, until you are ready to turn up.

Random

I shouldn't listen to people around me. I should decide my future by myself. Standing at this junction, i dun feel like doing anything. I would like to just stay here, pending. But i can't just stop, i have to continue my life. Time is still running. Tick tick, i can hear the clock up there. Maybe just a small break, gasping. But, what is the scale of it? How short it is? Undetermined. Direction-less. If time could stop, i wish it stop now. But if i could travel through time, i don't wanna be here anymore. Perhaps future? Or few years back then. Refuse to grow. Just stay as a little girl with nothing to worry about. Stay happy. A crazy thought. Should think of more meaningful way to go. But where? I should choose, shouldn't I? How it gonna works? Somewhere, Someone who know the answer. Someday, somebody might reveal it.