At this moment, i want someone to scold me, desperately... I do nothing for this few weeks... Totally in holiday mood... I hate myself... I hate that i am not serious in my academic... I hate that i came back to this place... I hate that no family around me... I hate that my buddies are not by my side... I hate that i am still a little kid deep inside my heart... I hate the disease in my body... Why am i the one who need to suffer, but other teenagers can live their life happily? Why me? Out of so many people in this world...

Please, somebody scold me... So that i can wake up from my emo-ness... I dun wish to be like that... but somehow i am like that now... I feel like crying, but my tears keep me away... I can't stand it anymore... neither the itchiness nor the stress...

I dun want to be a mature girl anymore... Coz i am tired of that... I started to realize i dun hv a childish childhood... I thought like a 20 years old girl when i was 10. But i regret now... I want to go back... How i wish people around me will treat me like a little girl and take good care of me... I wished not to trouble them when i was young... But i feel lonely now, coz no body really think of me... I feel abandon... I wish i can b a dumb forever... I feel tired to chase after her... Not that she is not good, but i am just tired... Out of 20 years of my life... I chase at her back for 10 years.... I dun want to do it anymore.... Can i just throw everything away and live an ordinary life? I dun want to care about how my relative think of me anymore...

Yupp, i won.... I won everyone, but i am not happy now... i dun want to be a genius, all i need is just one word - CARE